Thank you upstraight!

door lievendebrouwere


Dear mr Verhofstadt,

I wanted urgently to write you after the plenary speech that you Wednesday gave in the European Parliament. Hello crockett! You said much things that blew the nation once again from her socks. 

It is quite clear that you are yourself a big fan of the boîte you are working for. To use your words: who will solve climat problem? Who will solve refugee problem? Who will solve tax problem? (there are actually much problems, I know now. But therefore smart people like you are elected, to solve them, not?)   

“Who will solve all this problem?”, you asked your colleagues in the plenary circle again, and they were looking like they heard it thundering in Keulen. Your eyeballs were nearly jumping out from angriness and you understriped that it is not the Farage who will be helping, ah no, because he has saddled us up with the Brexit, the dirty sloober. Also this Le Pen madam will not be the helpster, she is just a stinky winky extreme right pita*. 

Off course, after that you pulled all this wise conclusions, you gave the answer your self: it is Europa that is going to solve all the problems, ah yes, because the men and women working there have already stood for hotter fires. And you know how to blus them together. You are smart and get every month much money paid: that will do the trick. (I must say: I fell nearly of my stool after all your stories. But I think you have it by the right end. Keep up the good work, dude Guy!)

Also it was clear in your speech that you are still a real Belgian in love with his country and the local kitchen. Your speech was full of sauces. You talked about the sauce of nationalism, the sauce of terrorism, the sauce of the economic crisis and so further on. The more I was listening, the more my hunger grew. My stomach was rammeling and I have visited already much internetpages but the receipt of the sauces is never there. Please will you send them to my mailbox? I will bend me thereover and then soon make a delicious meal, with your salutations.

Before I lock off my letter, I still wanted to ask you this: have you went to the theatre school when you was a miniguy? I think yes. Because you do not only say impressionist things all the time, you also pull funny faces when you talk and the peoples you work with then start grinnicking. If they were not grinnicking during your speaking: don’t worry. They were looking at their smartphone because a Pokemon sits under your stool there in the Parlement, and they have to catch him in the heat of the action. In politician terms they call this a win-win-win-situation, but I don’t have to explain that to you hey! 

Guy, it must be once more said before I leave you here: your speech was from a shockingly level. Not only did you think out of the box, you also speaked out of the box. You accentuated that we not have to be scared, because together with the other Europaworkers you will fix all the misery that goes wrong. You will finish also the sauces and make the institute work again, and with that: the sock is off.   

I thank you upstraight for your enthusiasm and wait in tension for your next performance in the halfround. In the mean time: sorrow good for yourself!   

Benedikte Van Eeghem


(*pain in the ass)